Then, I got overwhelmed by mid March and thought I couldn’t do it.  The thought of being a ‘non smoker’ was terrifying.  For those of you who have never been smokers, you probably can’t understand this.  For those of you who smoke or are ex smokers, I’m sure you feel me.

Throughout March, I kept going back and forth about whether I thought I could quit.  It was no longer a matter of wanting to, it was down to can I really do this?

Then, on Friday March 29 as I was driving home from work I noticed I only had a couple of smokes left in my pack.  I decided I wasn’t going to buy anymore.  I decided that I would stop. I have an e-cigarette/vaporizer that The Mister bought me and figured that could help me get through some of the rough patches until I got the hang of things.

I cannot officially say I quit yet.  That seems too final.  The finality of it, the decisive I’m NEVER doing this EVER again thing is too much for me.  Instead, I say I’ve decided to stop.  I have yet to call myself a non smoker.  It’s sort of along the same lines of someone being a ‘dry drunk’.  I feel like I’m still very much a smoker who just isn’t doing it right now.  I may  have another one someday, but for now, I’m not doing it.

I realized that 2 years ago around this same time I quit.  It was actually on Easter of 2011 that I had quit before (read that post HERE).  The thing about that attempt was that I did it under duress. A friend of mine was having some health problems and a co-worker/friend was struggling with pancreatic cancer.  It seemed like one thing after another happened that put more and more stress on me and I eventually gave up (read about my struggles HERE). I decided I would just be a smoker.  Later that summer a friend asked me what my smoking status was and my reply was “I’m totally off the wagon.  Hell, I’m not even chasing after the wagon anymore…”

So far it’s been 8 days since I’ve smoked.  I’m still puffing on my vaporizer every once in a while and I’m hoping to get myself off of that sooner rather than later but for now it’ll do the trick.  This time feels much different and I’m pretty confident that things will continue to go well.

Are you an ex-smoker?  What helped you quit?  Any advice for a novice?

As much as I hate to admit defeat…

Ugh.  After further investigation, I found that it’s a much more in-depth process than I had been lead on to believe originally.

If you’d like to make your own vinegar, click HERE for a tutorial.

I knew my way was too good to be true…

(a) Keep trying everything you can to get it to work, until option b sounds like the most rational decision.

(b) Throw it against the wall.

(c) Contact the seller to let them know their product isn’t working as promised.

(d) Do nothing and take a loss.

Certainly you might choose (a) for a little while longer, trying to problem solve the issue, but I think the obvious choice here is (c).  That’s the one option in which you really have a sense of control.  Continuing to fiddle with it and trying to make it work will probably just increase your frustration and make you angry.  Option (b) won’t help anything and option (d) is just a waste of time and money.

You may have read this scenario and said to yourself “well duh, (c) is the obvious choice here” but how many of you, in reality, would end up going with option (a)?

Now take this scenario and apply it to other situations in life.  What do you normally do?  Do you focus on the parts of life you have no control over and try to create control OR do you realize what you have control over and focus on that?

When I was a therapist, this was probably the #1 issue I would work on with clients.  They would present a situation and we would dissect it to find what pieces they actually had control over.  More often than not, the only thing they had control over was their reaction to the situation.  Maybe they couldn’t change what other people did or said, maybe they couldn’t change the results of the situation and maybe they were completely powerless in the situation but the one thing they could ALWAYS control is their reaction to it (emotions, thoughts & behaviors).  They didn’t have to accept the situation or like it, but their reaction is what would set the tone for the next series of events.

When I worked with clients on their locus of control, I was infamous for saying “It is what it is, so now what?”  I didn’t say “It is what it is” to be dismissive, but rather to say “The situation has happened, it’s over.  We can’t change the past.  The situation is what it is.  Now what are you going to do moving forward from it?” 

It was this line of thinking I used back in 2011 when I decided to venture into the depths of aggressive debt repayment.  I had 2 choices. I could whine and cry about the fact that I had $73,000 in debt looming over my  head.  I could wish that I had picked different schools to attend.  I could hope that I came into a financial windfall that would pay this off.  I could complain that I had to make such big student loan payments.  I could blame the school for being so expensive (ignoring the fact that I made the choice to attend said college). You get the idea…

OR…

I could take a step back and look at what I had control over. That’s the choice I made.  That’s when I decided I needed to take a good hard look at what I’ve done to create the situation (aside from going to school) and what I can do to fix the situation.

Another one of my infamous statements to my clients: Nothing changes if nothing changes. If one doesn’t change something, nothing is ever going to change.  If one always expects others to change, one is forfeiting their control in the situation.  And I promise, we all have some sort of control in what we do.  Sometimes the only control we have is how we react to the situation, but that’s better than nothing.

So, what’s your situation and what are you going to do about it?

Certainly we’re all faced with crappy situations we didn’t create.  We’re all faced with tough decisions.  At some point, we’re the victim of something.  But, just because we’ve been victimized doesn’t mean we have to be a victim forever.  And the sooner we realize this and see what we have control over, we empower ourselves to make things better.  It’s not always a quick process and it doesn’t make things easier necessarily.  But the sooner one takes control over the aspects one has control over, the sooner one has hope that the situation will get better.

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As soon as I noticed the bread, my next impulse was to tell the customer “You know, you could get that cheaper at the bread thrift store down the street…”  

It’s true!  The only time I’ve actually bought this kind of bread was at the bread thrift store, on the clearance section for $1.29, which is about 60% cheaper than at a grocery store, especially Sprouts!

But, alas, I did not tell this customer about the potential savings he could have at the bread thrift store.  It seemed wrong on so many levels.  For one, this wasn’t my conversation to butt into.  Second, It’s probably a little rude to tell someone where else they can buy a product in front of the store clerks.

So, I sat back, quietly.  I didn’t say anything.  I was screaming inside of my head though…

Speaking of bread thrift stores, if you don’t know, they are amazing. Most of them have a clearance table of bread that’s just about to go bad for ridiculously low prices ($1.29/loaf at mine).  If you can’t eat the bread fast enough,  just freeze it!  I don’t eat bread much these days, but I always have a loaf in the freezer.  It’s super easy to thaw it in the toaster.

If you live in Denver Metro, click HERE to search for the nearest Bimbo Breads bakery outlets.  If you live elsewhere, a simple Google search of “bakery thrift store + your city” or “bakery outlet” should point you to the nearest one.  It’s just one more way to get what you might need at a cheaper price.

Does anyone else have this compulsion to tell others where they can save?  I really have to watch myself and it drives The Mister nuts when I do it

If you haven’t caught on by now, I’m a geek like that.

I remember prior to 2011 when I realized it was a 3 paycheck month, I would get just as giddy but for the opposite reason.  Oooh, what can I buy now?  Sometimes it was electronics, sometimes clothes.  Sometimes it meant I would drop a little extra on eating/going out.  It was absolutely blown before I even got it.

That, of course, has all changed.  At the beginning of the year I go through my calendar to mark my pay dates and I take special note of the two 3 paycheck months. I figure this into my debt repayment spreadsheet and watch that balance drop. Then I start to fantasize about what it will be like to be 100% completely debt free.  Coming back to reality from such a fantasy is a real bummer.

This month I’m a bit torn.  I could save the extra money for my trip next month, or I could put it toward the loan.  Since The Mister and I have a sizable tax return coming to us and since we already have some money socked away, I’ve decided to put it toward my loan.  My goal for the end of this month is to completely miss the $10,000 balance.  I want to go from $11k to $9k.  Screw you $10k!

What about you?  What do you do with those extra paychecks every year?  Do you put it toward debt, vacation, new things, savings? By the way, I absolutely have nothing against taking hard-earned money and treating oneself.  I think when we ignore the other things that need to be taken care of in our lives to get those ‘treats’ is when we screw ourselves.  In my book, debt comes first.  Perhaps I will take a small chunk of that ‘extra’ money and treat myself, but the majority will go toward my obligations and not my whims.

I’ve been VERY unbalanced.  For reasons I’d rather not get into here, I have expending most of my energy into work.  This is not good for me.  At. All.

Thankfully, this unbalanced lifestyle should be coming to an end very soon and for that I am grateful  Some things will be changing and hopefully I will be returning to my equilibrium.  Homeostasis is right around the bend.

I should be able to put more energy and time into writing, which I’m excited about.  I do truly love writing and finding new tidbits to share.  I love seeing my goal achieved.  I love hearing about the victories of others.

Hang tight folks – I promise I’ll be back soon

This stuff is great!  I’ve found so many great uses for it.  My favorite use for it is as a moisturizer.  My second favorite use for it is as a make up remover.

This way of preparing the oil for a lotion/make up remover is SUPER easy and just fantastic.

Get out the coconut oil & some vitamin E (optional)

Measure it out & place it in a mixing bowl.

I measured out 1 cup, which was enough to fill up a cute little glass jar I have.  I also squirted in some vitamin E oil (you can also squirt it out of capsules).

Whip it good

Use a hand mixer to whip it up.  This takes a while, about 5-7 minutes.  Whip it until it’s smooth.

Put it in a container of your choosing

That’s it!

Really, that’s all you do. Using a hand mixer makes it whippy and smooth.  Much easier to apply as a lotion.

Make Up Remover

This is seriously the BEST eye make up remover I’ve ever used.  I just put a very small amount on my finger and rub it over my eye lids & eye lashes, then wipe away with cotton rounds. The make up comes right off!

Want more uses for that coconut oil?  Here are 101!

Since I’ve been a lazy blogger lately, I thought I’d throw in a guest post.  Thanks to Nick for writing this post, which has some great ideas for family fun

 Source

Families need to have fun together but many entertainment options tend to be relatively expensive. Is it possible to spend some quality time together without affecting the family budget negatively?

Creative mothers and fathers know how to come up with free or cheap entertainment options for the entire family. Here are several great ideas that you can try, whether you like to have fun at home or in town.

Have Family Picnics

A Sunday family picnic is a wonderful opportunity to spend some time outdoors. Whether you want to go to the local park or a nearby lake site, a picnic will be both inexpensive and easy to put together.

Prepare some food like sandwiches and salads. You will need some beverages, as well. A blanket and a board game will make the picnic complete. You can also use the opportunity to practice some favorite sports with your children.

The Local Museums

Family fun can be used to teach children something interesting. Familiarize yourself with the programs of the local museums. They usually have free hours or family discounts. Visiting on specific days or at particular hours will bring down the cost, as well.

Create a museum route and use an entire day off to explore one exhibition after another. It can be history, art, biology or science – pick the topics that your children will be most interested in. Surprisingly, you and your spouse will have a great time learning something new.

Be rational about the expenditure. Although these entertainment options are inexpensive, you will have to spend some money on them. Avoid using your credit card to make payments. If you do, check the monthly credit card report carefully. Does anything on it seem suspicious? Talk to a forensic accountant to figure out what is going on.

Fly Kites and Have Fun Outdoors

Kites are traditional family fun and they are inexpensive. You can buy a kite or you can have a great time making one.

All that you need is a windy day and an open space to fly kites. Teach your children the basic techniques and watch them getting better at it. Spending time outdoor will be exceptionally fun. You can ride bikes, play baseball or volleyball. Sports will be good for all the family members and you will get to relax from the busy daily routine.

Create a Family Garden

People living in cities have lost their understanding of farming and gardening. Many children have no idea where vegetables, dairy products and meat come from. Creating a family garden or visiting a local farm is another inexpensive idea for a family day off.

If you live in a house, you will get an easy opportunity to plant your own vegetable garden. Let your children plant the seeds and water them. Little ones will enjoy watching the vegetables grow. Apart from being cheap, this family entertainment option is exceptionally educational.

Alternatively, you can visit a local farm to show your children where milk and eggs come from, for example. Buying fresh farm produce will be another beneficial aspect of the activity.

Collecting Nature’s Treasures

Is your family into arts and crafts? Go treasure hunting and collect beautiful natural items that you can use in your next crafts project.

A visit to the beach will let you collect seashells and pebbles. Visit a forest or a park to pick some leaves and interesting plants. Teach your kids how to incorporate these natural treasures into their paintings. Seashells can be used for the creation of beautiful jewelry or for the decoration of boxes. It is really up to you. The more creative you get, the more fun you will have with it.

Have Your Own Living Room Adventure

As a parent, you will be responsible for the storyline in this family activity. Come up with a fairytale that involves princesses, knights and evil witches. The scenario will depend entirely on the number of family members and their preferences.
The next step would be to build a fort in your living room. Use boxes, pillows, blankets and everything else that you deem appropriate. The rest is up to family members. Such activities encourage improvisation and they will teach your children how to fantasize and have great fun at home.

Enjoying free moments with your children can be really inexpensive and fun. Get all the family members involved in the process. Getting ready for your day off can be just as exciting, as the actual activity. Think about the money you can spend and the things that you can make at home. Great family activities require involvement and some effort. You simply have to be enthusiastic about it and you will increase everybody’s excitement about it.

Author Bio:  This is a guest post by Nick Anderson who is a Marketing Executive at forthsonline.co.uk.

What are some of your own cheap/free family fun ideas? 

As I mentioned in January, my life has become busy all of a sudden.  When it rains, it pours.  Work is busy, both my regular 9-5 job as well as my part-time contract job.  Call me crazy, but when I spend all day at a computer and then come home and work a few hours at the computer, I get a little sick of all the screen time.  I also just spent a week in Washington DC for a conference and the hotel charged $17 for internet in my room!  If it wasn’t for that, I probably would have taken a bit of time to post something.

Loan Progress

I can’t believe this loan is down to $12,000!  That’s still a lot of money, but I’m so close I can almost taste it.  When I started this aggressive loan repayment thing a couple of years ago, I don’t know that I truly believed I would be able to pay it off so quickly.  If it wasn’t for that pesky wedding last year I’d probably already  have it paid off

Check out my 2013 Loan Repayment Progress section to get some more particulars.

What I’ve Spent Money On

• Insurance: It’s that time of the year – renter’s insurance AND car insurance due in the same month.  Blah.
• A new ‘do: I decided it was time to change things up and get a new haircut.  Nothing too crazy, but much shorter and a little extra sass.
• Eating/Going Out: I spent a little more this month going out – coffee with a  friend, a dinner or two out.  Nothing out of control, but more than last month.
• Bills!: Ugh, a few of my bills were costlier this month than last.  The Mister and I have spent more in the last year on our electricity than in previous years and we had to pay quite a bit more to even out our  monthly averaged billing payments.  I was super bummed about that.  This winter has been colder than the last couple, so this makes sense.  Also, since we signed another cell phone contract, our bill has gone up a little.

What I Didn’t Spend Money On or What I Cut Down On

• Gas: I’ve continued to decrease the amount of money I spend on gas.  This month I spent $26 under what I have budgeted.
• Groceries: I finally completed a goal!  I’m still over what I budged, but I spent about $60 less this month on groceries than I did last month.  I need to continue working toward decreasing this expense though.
• Cigarettes: I’ve been working on cutting down on my smoking and am working toward an eventual quit date. This month I spent $35 less than last month and $75 less than what I have budgeted.

Overall…

I think things went pretty well this month.  I’m still not going ultra-frugal, but I am finding a nice balance between saving money and going out to enjoy the company of others.

Goal Review

February’s Goals were…

February Goals

1. Seriously, Decrease my grocery spending by $10. Pass! And then some
2. Work out on Mondays & Tuesdays after work, with co-workers. Fail I’m seriously struggling with getting off my keester and moving.
3. Stick with my plan to wean myself off of cigarettes.  Pass!

March Goals

1. Spend no more than $20 going out (for the entire month)
2. Work out 3x/week (I’m not giving up on this…)
3. Continue to decrease smoking.

What about you?

How did you do in February?  What did you spend money on?  Do you regret any purchases?  What have you cut back on?  What are your goals for March?

Work continues to be really busy.  Most of the time, it’s a good busy.  I’m really hopeful for the year to come and I think there are some good things ahead in the area of work.  As I mentioned recently in some general life updates, I’ve become involved in my neighborhood association which will also include some involvement in committees/action groups.  I’ve also just signed up for a citizen’s police academy, which is a 3 hour weekly evening class that starts at the end of this month.  Lets just say, if I have time to spend money irresponsibly then it’s probably earned

Loan Progress

I have to say, I think I’m making some good progress so far this year. My private loan is almost 60% paid off, which means I’ve got less than 1/2 to pay off!  My prediction is that it will be paid off before 2013 ends and I’m fairly confident in my prediction.  Check out my 2013 Loan Repayment Progress section to get some more particulars.

What I’ve Spent Money On

• Medical type stuff: The Mister and I got our teeth cleaned at the end of December and I got a filling in January, meaning I had to fork over $100 + to pay off the teeth folks.  Thankfully we have insurance – it doesn’t pay for everything but it does pay for some and that’s all that matters to me!
• New Eyeglasses: I last got new glasses in 2005, before I moved to Denver.  Since then my prescription has changed and my head has gotten substantially smaller, but my glasses remained the same.  It was time to finally fork over a little extra dough and get some accurate prescriptions.  I’m so glad I did. But, I did it impulsively and should have probably waited for another month or two until I had things planned out and budgeted for it.
• Groceries & Personal Care Products: Not gonna lie – I went a little overboard this month.  I got a little coupon crazed and bought some stuff I didn’t really need because I thought it was a deal (or it was really a deal). I ended up going over budget on my groceries this month and did a piss poor job at menu planning on top of it. 

What I Didn’t Spend Money On or What I Cut Down On

• Eating Out: The Mister and I declared January as a holiday from eating out.  We passed with flying colors.  I ate out once for work but didn’t actually have to pay for it.  There was another day that I was supposed to have a lunch meeting (again, for work) but it got cancelled at the last minute.  I ran to Target and bought a sensible deli lunch.  Sort of eating out, but sort of not.
• Gas: My gas budget for the month was $120 and I’m happy to report that I only spent $97 on gas.  Watching my driving patterns, walking when possible, using fuel rewards when filling up all contributed to this.  Hooray!

Overall…

This month was sort of a toss up.  Some bills have recently increased, I had some unexpected or impulsive expenses (ie dental & glasses), my pay checks were a little smaller because of the holidays (couldn’t work my contract job as much), but on the flip side I did save some money here and there.

I did stay on track pretty well with my new budgeting system and I was really mindful about what I spent my money on.  I’m also still trying to figure out what my sweet spot is with money – how much restriction is too much and how much freedom is overboard.  It’s going to be an interesting year as I try to find that right balance for myself.

Goal Review

January’s Goals were…

January Goals

1. Set up monthly potluck with friends: Fail - Ugh, 2 of the 3 people have had big vacations happening and coordinating schedules was difficult.  Once one of them gets back from Africa, we’ll get right on this…
2. Spend 10 minutes every day reviewing my spending & budget. Pass(ish) – I’m not sure I dedicated 10 minutes every single day, but I did review my budget often and tracked all my spending as it happened.
3. Work out at least 2x/week- Big. Fat. Fail.
4. Decrease my overall grocery budget – OMG, Goals were not my thing last month!  Fail!

February Goals

1. Seriously, Decrease my grocery spending by $10.
2. Work out on Mondays & Tuesdays after work, with co-workers.
3. Stick with my plan to wean myself off of cigarettes (post about this to come!)

What about you?

How did you do in January?  What did you spend money on?  Do you regret any purchases?  What have you cut back on?  What are your goals for February?