Since February I’ve planned to quit smoking. I started cutting down on the number of smokes per day, started breaking habits associated with smoking and started doing a bunch of other preparatory things to get myself ready. I had even come up with a quit date and I had planned to post about it with this fun picture…
Then, I got overwhelmed by mid March and thought I couldn’t do it. The thought of being a ‘non smoker’ was terrifying. For those of you who have never been smokers, you probably can’t understand this. For those of you who smoke or are ex smokers, I’m sure you feel me.
Throughout March, I kept going back and forth about whether I thought I could quit. It was no longer a matter of wanting to, it was down to can I really do this?
Then, on Friday March 29 as I was driving home from work I noticed I only had a couple of smokes left in my pack. I decided I wasn’t going to buy anymore. I decided that I would stop. I have an e-cigarette/vaporizer that The Mister bought me and figured that could help me get through some of the rough patches until I got the hang of things.
I cannot officially say I quit yet. That seems too final. The finality of it, the decisive I’m NEVER doing this EVER again thing is too much for me. Instead, I say I’ve decided to stop. I have yet to call myself a non smoker. It’s sort of along the same lines of someone being a ‘dry drunk’. I feel like I’m still very much a smoker who just isn’t doing it right now. I may have another one someday, but for now, I’m not doing it.
I realized that 2 years ago around this same time I quit. It was actually on Easter of 2011 that I had quit before (read that post HERE). The thing about that attempt was that I did it under duress. A friend of mine was having some health problems and a co-worker/friend was struggling with pancreatic cancer. It seemed like one thing after another happened that put more and more stress on me and I eventually gave up (read about my struggles HERE). I decided I would just be a smoker. Later that summer a friend asked me what my smoking status was and my reply was “I’m totally off the wagon. Hell, I’m not even chasing after the wagon anymore…”
So far it’s been 8 days since I’ve smoked. I’m still puffing on my vaporizer every once in a while and I’m hoping to get myself off of that sooner rather than later but for now it’ll do the trick. This time feels much different and I’m pretty confident that things will continue to go well.
Are you an ex-smoker? What helped you quit? Any advice for a novice?